Letters- Part 3 of 10
You look so pretty when you smile.
It's like your eyes light up as well, like something sets a rolling movement inside you and you can't help the nerves of your body rolling along with it.
I watched you walk to school today, across the street, your eyes searching left and right, cautious before any unsure step.
Your school is almost as pretty as you are, my love, it has the charm of an old soul, something you possess in the centre of your body.
I watched you climb the steps, two at a time, your hips moving, swaying from side to side while you walked, such purpose flowing from those little legs of yours.
All day I watched you, from outside every window you hung around inside.
I have never seen something more beautiful than your face, creased in confusion, as you watch the professor spurt information your precious mind doesn't want to process.
It's okay, sweet girl.
You don't need to understand everything to see the beauty in the world.
I never went to school, I couldn't stand the teachers always telling me what to do, couldn't deal with the lectures and the looks from the other people.
You don't need to be in school, it's not worth it.
All they do is teach you about things you won't need to know.
I can see it in your eyes that you know, while you look sadly out across the oval, somehow missing my dripping wet form staring directly back at you. I know deep down you know you don't belong in that stupid school.
Because you belong with me, you belong with me while I walk down your street every night.
You should be by my side, not ten steps in front of me, your headphones lulling you into a safe haven I can't access.
Why am I not your safe haven?
Do my eyes not tell you stories far more interesting than the ones a mere singer could say?
Does my heart not send yours into overdrive?
Why am I not on the little small device in your hand, lulling you into safety, making you feel things you never thought possible before?
You look so lost, your eyes are glazed over...
It might just be the rain; it always makes me think things are worse than they are.
Don't look so worried, my love, after the rain new things will flourish and you will see the world is still exactly as it was, as it is meant to be seen, perfect, just for you.
Everything is made for you, from the highest mountains to the deepest oceans, to me, standing before you at the little coffee shop waiting for you to see that I don't want to be a shadow in your life anymore.
I want to be the one you take with you, kiss goodbye when you go to learn and kiss hello when you return.
I want to mean everything to you, not just someone you pass by, the déjà by moment you have when you look at me, because you know you've seen me somewhere before.
I want you to concentrate on me, really look at me, embrace me, become me.
I want all of you.
I refuse to share your beauty with the world, you belong to me.
You and that brain of yours that never stops thinking, that heart that never stops feeling and that soul that never stops trying to run away from the birdcage you keep it in.
You can tell me why.
You can tell me all about who has hurt you, I can promise you they will never hurt you again.
You can tell me all about why you are afraid at night, I can promise you I will numb your fears.
You can tell me the reason you find it so hard to fall asleep, I can promise you I will hold you till you do.
You can tell me everything and I promise I will never tell another.
I am a vault purely for your words, and thoughts and heart.
I am the only thing you should be running towards when the night seems to grow ever darker.
I am who you need and want.
Why can't you just see that?
Why must you always look straight though me, standing on that oval, in the pouring rain, pouring out my heart to you?
Why must you sigh so deeply, like the world troubles you, then turn away from my outstretched hand like it means nothing to you?
Why must you always assume I can do nothing to lift the weight on your shoulders that I know burdens you so incredibly so.
I am here to help you, to pave the path for you to walk, to grow the flowers for you to see, to make the world so beautiful to represent what I see in you.
I am here purely to make things better for you.
That is my purpose.
I will do whatever is in my power to make you happy, so long as you let me stay to watch it unfold.
So long as you allow me to see your eyes glow, from the smile that brushes your lips.
So long as you let me watch you sleep, the creases no longer on your forehead.
So long as you let me stay with you, I will make the whole world fit into your little palm, if that is what you desire.
I would do anything for you, so long as you never leave me.
So long as you always kiss me goodbye each morning with the promise of a return kiss on your lips.
So long as you let me touch your body like I want to touch your mind.
So long as you never leave me alone to ponder where you might be.
So long as you never ever leave me alone.
That is all I ask.
Never leave me, I won't let you leave me.
Your Secret Admirer