It came, it conquered and it went.
2018 was kind of momentous in my life. A lot of what would be classified as 'big moments' happened, you know, the sort of events that you'll look back on when you're old and understand how they shaped the person you eventually became.
Well, 2018 was one BIG moment for me.
I wish I could thank everyone enough for supporting me throughout this year but sometimes lengthy thank you letters take away from the truth, which is simply explained in one word.
Gratitude.
2018 taught me a lot, but the most important lesson was that of understanding the significance of the people I choose to surround myself with.
For you, I am grateful.
I became truly independent this year, starting from my ability to drive (and my own self-purchased car at that) and ending with my plans to have my very own place after sharing with others for 8 months.
I learnt what taxes actually were and I learnt to effectively budget, including finding room for my impulse spending. I time managed my schoolwork and my work work without sacrificing one or the other, and despite the lack of faith from my family I came out on top.
But it wasn't about what others thought of me... for once I put myself in charge of how I wanted to see myself. I proved to myself that despite my previous mistakes I could be mature, I could make positive decisions.
I could balance all the things I wanted to do and still find time to focus on the things that really matter.
In 2018 I moved out of home and I scored a full scholarship to study Electrical Engineering next year. I also stopped basing my self-worth on how my toxic friend saw me and I started seeing myself in a new way.
I chose to no longer bathe in doubt and fear. I embrace that I still have insecurities and no matter how much I might try I'll continue to change aspects of myself that frustrate me. But I also understand that that is simply a part of who I am.
I am more than my mistakes, and my past doesn't get to dictate the person I chose to be today, or tomorrow, or in ten years time.
2018 helped my grow into a person I am actually, for the first time in 8 years, proud of.
Along the way I also made new friends, began to mend broken relationships with people I'd hurt previously and met a guy who opened my eyes to the person in my mirror.
I know it's cringey and probably annoying to some people to hear this but this year I fell in love.
At a really low point I met a guy who actually wants to tell me I'm beautiful every morning and every night before I go to sleep. I met a guy who supports me in everything I do and calls me out when I'm being unfair or selfish.
And no, before the 'feminazis' come out and tell me I shouldn't be attributing my personal successes to 'finding a man', I'm not, I'm trying to explain that I found a partner who helps me be the person I want to be.
My year wouldn't be complete without him.
I also found time to being new challenges.
Like this blog.
I had to convince myself (as I do before every post) that it doesn't matter what other people say about it, I'm doing this for me, because I want to and fuck anyone who wants to bring my down on it.
I spent the last four years dreaming about showing people my writing without being afraid I would be berated for it and now I'm finally doing it.
I hope 2019 helps me grow even more. I hope it shows me more of myself. I hope it challenges me but above all else I hope it is kind to me and others, because we've all had shit years here and there and I think it's time we had one that we can look back on with pride.
2018 did that for me. I hope 2019 does it for you.
Here are some of my happiest moments from 2018: